When I came home from my walk last night, my husband pulled a bottle of white wine from the fridge. Before I could say, “What a nice idea”. He had me sitting down with a glass in my hand and a small plate of nibbles in the other.

He’s such a sweetie - particularly when I’m feeling a bit down. And he always keeps track of where I am and knows when I’m safely out of the phentermine and can have a drink of alcohol. I love a glass of good chardonnay when it’s safe. It reminds me of the time before the weight loss program began - all the good times we’ve had together. All the good times we still have together.

Looking back over the last now getting on for two years, he’s the one who has quietly stood beside me. He never says much — why is it that men never seem to open their mouths? Just when you’re looking for a kind word of encouragement, the most you can ever expect is a vague look in your direction, the slightest nod of the head and, if you’re lucky, a grunt.

But every now and again, these quiet types can creep up on you — a kind of ambush of thoughtfulness — like last night.

We sat in a companionable silence, sipped the wine and nibbled the nibbles — they’re the moreish variety so he had to pass the packet for refills a couple of times. After a while, I got up and made us something to eat. Kindness you can expect — miracles come later when he learns how to do something more than boil an egg (and telling you in advance whether it’s supposed to be soft or hard boiled egg would make that a fair test).

When we’d finished and we’d shared the washing up — he was full of good deeds — I went upstairs and opened a wardrobe. Sometimes, when I may be losing perspective, I come up and look at some of my old clothes — the ones from before. . .

When I was starting off — I’d taken the first round of phentermine and Acomplia — my friends started to say, “Its going to take a few weeks before you notice any difference.” and “Don’t expect to turn into some barbie doll overnight.” and, even worse, “Don’t get your hopes up too high.” And they would laugh in that slightly insincere way you know means they’re worried you’re not going to be able to keep your motivation going.

So it does me good to take some of my older clothes off their hangers and try them on. These are the clothes I can remember buying only just over two years ago.

And they are all loose on me. I need this kind of physical reminder that all this is worth it. That I am losing weight and keeping it off.

Nights like last night are necessary. The wine to drink and snack food may not be strictly within the daily allowance, but they are a psychological boost. A gesture to reward myself for persevering.

There have been weeks when there has been no weight loss. Where the scales have stayed unmoved by my efforts.

But with him-indoors on my side, I have stayed the course. The cycles of phentermine and Acomplia have come and gone. Patience and perseverance have paid off. I may never see a “slimmer me” but, at the very least, I have those skirts and jeans to show where my hips used to be. And anything is better than that.

So last night’s little celebration of our goals set and met was another satisfying stepping stone on my journey towards the four score years. Of course there will be days when I’m down, but I know he notices even though he never does open his mouth.

I suppose it’s always been a part of his charm. Because he never says anything you can always imagine he says the right thing. Just think how disappointing it would be if he suddenly started speaking for himself, or worse, like in the latest TV show from America, Heroes, I could read his mind. Now that could be so disappointing I would want to take a phentermine to feel better and that would never do.

Tagged with: acomplia • Phentermine