My new friend and I (that’s the old friend-of-a-friend who’s been upgraded — a bit like these new game machines, she’s gone from 1.0 prototype to 3.0 mature-in-the-market best seller in record time) were chatting on the phone last night. She was laughing because I’d written, “. . .at my time of time.” Did that mean we were, “Women of a certain age”?

And we got to wondering about that. When we were growing up, it always referred to those middle-aged spinsters who’d been “left on the shelf”. Life, meaning men, had passed them by — often because their intendeds had been killed in the war. And they, having given up the unequal struggle to find a replacement, had gone slightly to seed — growing more rotund and being dutifully jolly to make the best of a bad job. So, not only were they “women of a certain age”, they were “of a certain weight” as well. No-one ever dared to ask how old they were and, with those slightly shapeless dresses they wore, it was difficult to guess how much they weighed.

And there you had me before my Damascus moment. Except, of course, I’d done as well as could be expected in the men stakes. But, has the “certain age” now moved beyond sixty (where my friend and I now reside)? Those matronly figures on the wrong side of stout were all clearly middle-aged so probably in their forties. It’s curious how culture changes. No-one would ever have suggested to those slightly sad creatures that they should move on to a weight loss program and get a new start on life. There were so few men left after the war to get a start with.

But now, of course, the gender balance has righted itself again so today’s women of a “certain age” could get their second (or third chance) if they shed a few pounds and put themselves about a bit. Which sounds a bit more judgemental than I would like, but you know what I mean.

Which all brings me back to that nagging worry about cosmetic dieting. People shouldn’t start taking phentermine, Acomplia or Meridia just so they can go out and look for a new mate. As my doctor said when I first asked him about getting my weight down, he only prescribes something like phentermine to people who have a high BMI or health problems that would benefit from weight loss.

“Once you start on the pills,” he said, looking fierce, “you’ll probably have to keep on with them for the rest of your life. Most people find the weight all comes back when they stop.”

So that’s where the big unknown is. For all that phentermine was developed back in the 1950s, no-one has ever done any research into the effects of taking these pills for more than two years. It makes you wonder what they’re afraid of finding. I’m making a mental note to go back and talk to my doctor again when my two years are up.

Perhaps I’m better off than most because I never take either phentermine or Acomplia for more than six weeks at a time. It’s not like I’m on continuous drip feed — a diet pill junkie.

In my flashback, my doctor gets out his charts and does the calculation. It seems I’m a woman of a certain BMI (I’m slightly shorter than average so it makes it sound worse than it really is — or that’s what I tell myself) and my blood pressure is high. When the tests come back, my blood has too many fatty bits whizzing round inside me (except not all of them are whizzing — some are finding nice homes to set up on the walls of arteries and are clogging up the system a bit).

So he has no problems in justifying the prescriptions. I’m a woman of a certain risk profile where the benefits of weight loss are going to outweigh the disadvantages of the medications. The pairing of phentermine and Acomplia is something I suggested and he said he would watch with interest. We decided to hold off on anything to control the blood pressure. If my weight fell, we reasoned, the pressure should fall naturally. The more healthy diet he recommended with fish, chicken and whole grains — and the exercise — should all combine to solve several problems at the same time. And they have. My blood pressure is down to more reasonable levels without having to take anything specific. Which is how it should be, letting the body take care of itself as much as possible. Only taking pills when it’s absolutely necessary.

Which leaves me looking the mirror and wondering whether I’m also long in the tooth — is that receding gums or, like a horse, are my teeth still growing?

Tagged with: acomplia • Meridia • Phentermine